Okay. I have like three blogs I’m working on. They all tie in together. So, this is the first. I feel totally compelled to just take a moment and lift up two people in my life who affect me in some way everyday, whether it’s through a tweet, a blog, a phone call, or a coaching session. It’s just the way it happens. One I am only in contact with online. The other is my beloved business coach and dear friend. (No, they are not clients.)

I have gone through tremendous changes this past year, but the bulk of my growth personally and professionally was because I got committed to a coaching situation. Ever since I began coaching with Deseri Garcia, Founder and Pres of Vida Aventura, things began to change for me.

At the end of March, Amber Naslund wrote of post on the Power of Definitive Affirmations.

Man, it hit home. Then I got excited because she was nailing it and writing about it. She is by far one of my favorite writers. She takes chances. She calls it like it is. She uses her voice, and I get her. I learn from her. There are only five blogs I receive in email. Hers is one of them.

Back to Deseri: I have recently learned in a very real way that I manifest my future. Not you, not my clients, not the music my band creates, not my work, not the jack that cut me off in traffic. ME.

Deseri taught me how to get very real about being intentional, writing down clear goals, and taught me the POWER of definitive affirmations and meditation. Which, BTW I have my affirmations saved to my desktop and read them aloud at least once a day. And also on my desktop is Gaping Void’s “Moronic” cartoon because it reminds me that my dreams are so outrageous and crazy, but it really doesn’t matter. I keep pushing toward them. (Oh the little things that make me smile.)

I can’t believe…or wait…I CAN believe how when you begin to CHANGE the way you think, how you believe, and what you focus on, life begins to happen. Doors open. This is life-changing stuff! This is why I got so excited by Amber’s words:

We are cynical creatures, many of us. We look at things in terms of what we don’t want to have happen, where we don’t want to go, who we don’t want to associate with, and so on. Avoidance of the negative in hopes that the positive will emerge.

Much more rarely do we get really, painfully, brazenly specific about what it is we DO want.

And I mean specific.

Not “better work-life balance.” Screw that. That tells me nothing about what I need to do in order to achieve it.

I just want to jump up and down.

That being said, my amazing coach was just featured in the IBJ (Indianapolis Business Journal). I’m sharing this with you because she is one of the most powerful women I know. She embodies integrity. She is the epitome of “calm in the storm.”  Here is Tawn Parent’s story on her:

Forget the couch and the remote control—Deseri Garcia gets her dose of athletics live and in person.

The Indianapolis consultant spends her weekends “adventure racing,” which can mean running, biking, rappelling and kayaking, among other sports. Some events last 38 hours.

What’s the appeal of something so grueling?

“It’s discovering that you can push beyond what you’ve done before,” said Garcia, 44. “It gives me courage to push boundaries in other areas—business or relationships.”

Believing that this strategy might pay off for others as well, Garcia five years ago launched Vida Aventura (“adventurous life,” in Spanish). The local firm uses obstacle courses, scavenger hunts, trust games and other nontraditional activities to build teams and develop leaders.

Her clients range from small businesses to Clarian Health and Cummins Inc. She uses hundreds of activities, depending on the size of the group and their goals. She is certified by the Association for Challenge Course Technology.

Christopher Overstreet met Garcia two years ago when she was president of Rainmakers, a local networking organization. He hired her to lead team-building exercises for his Indianapolis marketingfirm, Xiik. His staff had been having trouble communicating, so he brought in his employees from other cities for a half-day workshop with Garcia, and immediately noticed results.

“It was amazing,” Overstreet said. “People were able to talk to each other better, collaborate more. It was a phenomenal change that I noticed.”

He has since hired her for another workshop with employees on goal setting, and for some one-on-one coaching for himself. He said he has been impressed with Garcia’s ability to lead people out of their comfort zones. One employee was so moved by her own success in letting go during a challenging exercise and trusting her co-workers that she broke down crying. It was a turning point for her.

Garcia said she strives for such “Aha!” moments. Through team-building exercises, people sometimes become newly aware of their own qualities, she said. For example, an employee who rushes through instructions and fails at a group exercise may realize he needs to slow down at work.

“It’s about creating analogies for learning,” Garcia said.

This isn’t all feel-good, fuzzy stuff, she added. It affects the bottom line. Contented employees usually work harder, improve profitability and hang around longer, saving companies the expenses of turnover.

Garcia said the 20 years she spent working in business development at local companies Langham and Roadway Express gave her experience in workplace dynamics that she now puts to work through Vida Aventura.

“I went through a leadership development workshop about five years ago and fell in love with coaching and doing facilitation work,” Garcia recalled. “I discovered it was my passion.”

She runs the company out of her Broad Ripple home. She is the only employee, although she frequently contracts with other facilitators when she works with large groups. She hopes her company will eventually grow large enough to take on more employees. She said she misses the camaraderie of working in a larger setting, although she doesn’t miss the drama.

Last year, Vida Aventura brought in less than $150,000. That was a challenge, Garcia said. But as the economy improves, she hopes to reach $250,000 to $500,000 in revenue in the next couple of years.

This year has started off strong, she said. Many companies that have shed staff are looking to reignite those who remain, she said.

She hopes to branch into culinary team-building as well as increase “destination-based” work—taking client groups to interesting places, both here and abroad. For example, she led a “Survivor”-type activity with Cummins employees from all over the world in Sao Paulo, Brazil.

Garcia said she doesn’t think being a woman and a minority has hurt her business success. She follows the example of former boss Cathy Langham, CEO of Langham, a transportation and logistics company. “Cathy Langham made [being a woman] a non-issue,” Garcia said. For her part, Langham praised Garcia’s listening skills, her tenacity and her ease with people.

“Deseri is a warm, dynamic person,” said Langham, who has known Garcia for 15 years. “It’s easy for her to meet people and they like her. They continue to like her as the relationship grows. That’s a stand-out strength in my mind. She’s got a great energy and great personality. She’s in the right career.”

Garcia’s love of teamwork sprang from her experience with fellow athletes in adventure racing, which she stumbled into 10 years ago after a lifetime of various athletic pursuits. She started with roller speed skating as she grew up in Fort Wayne, the child of a Cuban father and an Irish-German mother. At Ball State University, she took up lacrosse and running, and began tackling marathons. She’s a 15-year veteran of the OneAmerica 500 Festival Mini-Marathon.

Garcia said she exercises four to six times a week, mostly to improve her health and vitality, but also to keep balance in her life. But she doesn’t expect her clients to share her penchant for extreme sports.

“You don’t have to be an Olympic athlete to work with me,” she said with a laugh.

Both Deseri and Amber deserve every ounce of success they manifest. So, I guess this is a “thank you” to these gals.  Read Amber’s blog. Work with Deseri. They’re out there making a difference. Intentionally.

Not that I want to open up with a cheesy line from a film or anything, but as I’d been thinking about what I wanted to write about today, what keeps coming up over and over and over again, is: “If you build it, they will come.” The popular line taken from 1989 hit film, Field of Dreams…starring Kevin Costner, is something that often comes to mind when I am wondering about an idea, thinking about what to say, putting something out there…whatever.

I’m a big dreamer/thinker. I believe people can do anything they want to if they put true intention behind it. I’ve been that way my entire life. I’ve heard people say I’m crazy, or unrealistic, and I’ve always thought to myself, “They have no idea who they’re dealing with,” or “It must be so sad to be so closed-minded and un-ambitious.” The list could go on, but I’m sure you get the point. This could tie into one of my favorite quotes by Oscar Wilde: “Those who live within their means suffer from lack of imagination.”

I look at social media the same way. I believe HUGE things can happen when small or large businesses begin to build with social media. The key word here: BUILD.

Here we are, in a time where anything that anyone wants to say, any message that one wants to put out there, any video, song, book…you name it, there is a platform available in the social sphere to do it.

I will never understand why some still question the power of social media. Some still question what type of “ROI” they will get. I really don’t know if a number can be placed on building relationships or building a tribe.  It’s like getting the cart before the horse.  I mean, yes, there is legitimacy in when a CMO or COO needs to see the bottom line raise as marketing dollars are being spent. But these things don’t happen overnight. It takes time, commitment, and belief.

My career started as a marketing director for a small business here in Indianapolis. Someone introduced me to a social media platform where I could blog. I’m not one of those people who was on the “cutting edge” of blogging for years and years.

It was when I began blogging about the company I worked for, and really started to fall in love with social media…meeting people, getting meetings because what I was writing about placed some value on the company, that it showed me that through writing and building relationship, there was a community of supporters.  I am now able to do what I LOVE for a living, and there is nothing better than that.

I was (still am) a marketer who is looking for new ways to get my company’s message out, and now, the companies who hire me.

I have a business that is based in social media. I have experienced firsthand, the growth that can occur in a business sense, by being involved in an online community, be it Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIN, and the many others that are available.  But I also understand that no amount can be placed on the relationships that I’ve been able to build which have taken me to the different levels of growth. How are you building today?

You know, I’ve never understood those folks who constantly draw a line between work life and personal life. I am not referring to bringing a crappy day home with you and taking it out on your family…which by the way, happens quite often and is really NOT cool. What I AM referring to is your relationship to your co-workers and supers, and if you’re in a leadership position, the relationship with those you manage. It’s like some people can be so leery to create meaningful relationships because that’s not what you’re “supposed” to do at work.

I’m a lover. I just want to get that out there. I love so many things. I love my family, I love to work out, I love food. I just love. It’s very easy for me to make friends and refer to them as my best friend because I open up. This in turn gives permission for them to open up. I’ve had people say, “How can you have so many best friends?” Well…I love my friends. My life would not be the same without them. My world revolves around the relationships I create.  I create thriving relationships because it’s important to me.

Let’s take a look at Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Right after your physiological and security needs, is your need to belong in a group, then to feel validated while IN the group. It’s just human nature.  When you are with a group of people for 40 hours a week (granted we are talking about the “normal” work week), I would think it’s pretty darn important to treat those people with love and respect.  Who wants to be in anything other than a nurturing environment? It sucks!

When people love where they work and who they work for, amazing things can happen with and within an organization.  When I was an intern my senior year of college, I absolutely loved my boss. I still do to this day. We are great friends.  But my intern experience was so fulfilling because of the environment we created…the relationship we created.  I loved her. I wanted to work smart for her, almost to make her “proud.” Even when we disagreed on things, I never felt “disposable.” Think of all the people out there who DO feel disposable. Humans were not meant to feel that way.

I guess something we all need to ask ourselves…is your environment thriving or toxic? (We can apply this to SO many areas of our life.) We CREATE our experiences. Sure, others play a part in the scene, but they are only the supporting actors. You are the star. What are you creating? And what needs to change?

As marketing director and intern coordinator of Slingshot, a company that provides sales-trained interns to small and large businesses, it is my job to root for our Indiana interns. I know I post on this topic alot, but there really is something to be said about bringing new, talented energy into an existing team…or even a non-existing one…(just ask my boss ). That being said, if you answer yes to any of the following questions, perhaps you should consider looking toward interns for YOUR company.

1. Do you want a cost-effective way to grow your business, especially in this economy?

2. Have you considered interns, but hold back because you don’t really think you have the time to train them?

3. Are you just doing way too much on your own, and you need some help?

4. Is your sales staff so bogged down with paperwork/follow up/referral call that they can’t get out and sell?

Okay, here are my questions: If your company is not using interns, why not?
And if you ARE, what are some of the experiences you’ve had with them? Did you end up hiring any?

I hope many of you had the chance to catch my post last Friday about the importance of our non-verbal communication being on board with our verbal communication, and how this is especially important when it comes to leadership and sales. As promised, only a day off, I wanted to talk about gestures today, and how those gestures may read to others around us.

As I said on Friday, certain gestures say that you are self-confident and a leader. We’ll talk about a few of them here.

1. Head, Face and Eye Movements
If you’re moving your head, face, and eyes toward other person and giving them your full attention, it works wonders. Have you ever been in a meeting in a public area and had the person you’re meeting with constantly looking around the room (are you looking for someone better?)? It’s like, “HELLO!! Am I not important??” It’s not cool, and I most likely would not want to meet with you again. Pay attention to your employees and your clients. It comes back around.

Good eye contact-When this is on, a person tends to interpret your message more favorably. This also works in group settings.

2. Posture
This, in my opinion is one of the most obvious signs of self-confidence and leadership ability.
Standing up straight generally reflects self-confidence whereas stooping, slouching, or anything of that nature reflects poor self image.
Leaning in towards other the person also indicates interest and curiosity in what they have to say…and people like to be heard, right?? I know I do.

3. Body Position and Personal Space
If you’re standing way close (I’ve heard within 18”), this may be interpreted as confidence or brashness. Or this could also be perceived as intimidating or harassing. Depending on the person, it’s a close call. Be yourself, but also allow others their own space. Plus, if you’re that close to me, please make sure you’ve had a tic-tac. We’ve found 1 ½ – 4 feet away is best for projecting face to face leadership. I personally am a toucher. If we’re having a conversation, it’s not unlike me to touch your arm or pat you or something. (Just so you all know.)
Anyway, anything beyond 4 feet may be perceived as shying away.

And the last thing for today…although this is geared more toward verbal communication and leadership:

4. Voice Quality and Tone
People often put more significance on the way you say something than what it is that you are saying. How many people can relate to this? A forceful voice with consistent tone suggests power, control, and confidence, but there is a balance here between matter-of-fact, and dominence. You should take the time to get to know how your employees or clients usually take things. Or, begin with a softening statement. There have been times when my amazing boss has said, “Now, don’t take this the wrong way…blah, blah, blah.” (I’m bracing myself, right?) But then I hear what she’s saying and most of the time, I agree with her totally. But the most important part, is even though I may not be that sensitive, she cares about me. And it truly gives me confidence and I make sure to do my best.
On the flipside, a whispery, wimpy voice detracts from a person sounding confident and being able to take charge.
Whining, nagging, and complaining tones annoy people. (Nothing is more irritaing then a whiner. I have a 5-year old. This is a challenge. I certainly don’t want to hear that in a work environment.)

If you’re concerned about the way you’re coming across, get a voice recorder. Listen to yourself. I know that may not sound practical, but if there have been past issues and confrontaions, it would be worth it to see if there is something going on with you that you may not be aware of.

Okay, that’s it for now. More later on this week.

I was grateful to be able to attend an event today at Butler University with one of my co-workers. While there, we were able to hear Dr. Carol Hagans speak about the differences of generations, focusing on gen X and the millennials. Anyone who has not heard her speak, she is brilliant. One comment she made really struck my attention (guess what it is!! )

Rather than “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, we should change it to do unto others keeping their preferences in mind.”

What a great way to approach-eh-pretty much everything. Whether it’s recruiting, doing business, managing employees or interns, relating…to anyone, keeping others’ preferences in mind is a perfect start. This is probably not something that would necessarily come naturally though, especially if you’re a high D on the disc profile. Often, we have our own ideas and agendas, our own goals with plans on how to get there, and we can easily just expect people to jump on our bandwagon. I know I am guilty of this.

In working with millennials and being one myself, I know exactly how it feels to want to be a part of a company that values my approach, my ideas, and allows me to be me. Every millennial out there feels the same way. They need to be valued, they need to be heard, and they need to be themselves.

I encourage all of you to be open to keeping others’ preferences in mind. If you have interns working with your company and you see a promising future for them there, this is a key to retention.

What are some things that you do to treat others how they wish to be treated that is different than how you wish to be treated?