Non-Verbal Communication Part Trois-What Are You Really Saying?

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Okay, so this is the last post on the whole non-verbal thing I’ve had going for the last few blogs. I hope you got something out of it. If you didn’t, I hope you will at least check out the show, Lie To Me.

I find it interesting that I wanted to start today out with appearance, and it just so happens that Deanna Sipe did a fabulous post on dressing for success earlier. You should check it out if you haven’t already. Okay, here we go.

1. Personal Appearance
People pay more respect to those that are well dressed and neatly groomed. As superficial as it is, it’s a reality. I am guilty of this too, although I really do work on treating everyone with the same level of respect. It’s a process. But for a leader, you absolutely need to look your best. In sales, look your best. Don’t leave the house if you’ve not ironed your pants. I most likely would think that if you did not take care of yourself and your appearence, what makes me think you will treat my account any differently? Hhhhhhhmmmm.

2. Use of Time
Guarding time as a precious resource will help you project self-confidence and leadership.
Project this self-confidence by being prompt for meetings and start on time. Not only that, make the meeting worthwhile. I have heard more complaints from fellow friends who are salespeople. They are taking time out of their day to be in this meeting, whereas they could be prospecting. Please make it worthwhile if you are pulling them out of the field. Perhaps you could use your planner in front of others. It allows employees to see that you are looking ahead, you have a goal, and you are doing the BEHAVIOR that will get you there.

3. Appear Friendly, Confident, Approachable
No one, trust me on this, wants to approach an angry, unapproachable boss or co-worker. It is stressful, so please be kind. I’ve heard that if you match your body movements to the person you are communicating with (mirroring) without being too obvious creates solidarity or feeling of agreement. I have to say I agree.

4. Be Animated. It’s okay to use facial expressions
Don’t be afraid to use big smiles, little smiles, frowns, scowls, looks of puzzlement, surprise, and reassuring nods.
These gestures show that you are listening and involved
Pay attention to leaders you admire and note their facial expressions and model their behavior.

5. Talk with Optimism
Learn to keep most of your pessimistic thoughts to yourself. We’re all going to have difficult experiences, but leaders don’t complain, they seek what they need to learn, and chalk it up as an experience they learned from.
If you miss a goal, don’t apologize. Talk about overcoming unforeseen hurdles.
Again, leaders look for positives in situations that others perceive as negatives.

6. Move and Act Purposefully
Stride through workplace purposefully. Enough said.

7. Use a Firm Handshake
This should go without saying, but I have shaken some pretty shaky hands, and as a leader, that’s a no go. It’s almost a complete indicator of self-confidence. When I work with our Slingshot interns, I really like to get this point across. Too limp or too tight are often perceived as negative.

And finally, here are a few non-verbals that detract from your leadership image:
Nodding or smiling almost incessantly may appear insincere or insecure.
Yawning, looking bored, or fatigued are not good. Neither is playing with your hair, scratching your head, cracking your knuckles, or twiddling your thumbs.

Alright. If anyone has any others that come to mind, please share.